He doesn't really love you.

He doesn't really love you.

The title of this just makes my heart drop and I feel like this is a common fear. We are in these committed relationships and we feel like he doesn't understand; when we try to share how we feel he just gets frustrated. This is when we may need to take a step back and look at the root of the issue.

What is his example of love?

He may truly love you but he might not know how to show it. I often look at Shane and think, "How did I get so lucky?". He is just so understanding, full of grace, loving, gentle, and hardworking. I could literally go on and on. Then I realized it really has nothing to do with him but EVERYTHING to do with his relationship with Christ.

Humans are naturally selfish. We think about what we want and we usually act on it. The Bible teaches us to deny those desires, they only lead to destruction. Every piece of advice that the Bible offers leads us to a more satisfying and healthier lifestyle. How can a man know how to show grace if he has never been shown grace himself. 

If God isn't the voice that is guiding your significant other then think about who is. Media plays a major role in the way we portray the perfect relationship and women have a much different view on this than men. If you look at the top rated songs in America most of them promote women as manipulative objects that are used for sex and men are portrayed as arrogant beings who can't be trusted. And yes, some men and women may be like this but that is their choice to deny Christ and pursue their selfish desires.

Find a man who follows Christ above you. In the Bible God presents men and women as a team. He says to respect each other and build each other up. He calls the men to protect and provide and He calls the women to buildup and nurture.

How can a man truly love you if he doesn't have an example of how to? We are selfish creatures that need guidance. The root of everything is your relationship with Christ, your ability to hear his guidance and know what he is telling you to do will determine your success or failure. In order to have a successful relationship with your significant other you MUST have guidance from Christ.

TO SINGLES: You are in a time of preparation; maybe you need to work on making Christ your focus before you are ready for a relationship. Begin praying over your future and the person you will end up with. Pray that they would be working on their relationship with Christ during this time as well. Pray that God would reveal your flaws so that you can be aware of them and work towards over coming those boundaries.

TO TAKEN PEOPLE: Take the time to step back and analyze your relationship with Christ. Is it real? Does He actually guide you and do you ask Him for guidance? Then take time to step back an analyze your relationship with your significant other. Are they a person who will respect you, take care of you, work with you and show you grace? Pray for that person you are with, pray that God would transform their heart if they are not in love with Him. Keep your heart open, Christ will tell you if you need to get out of the relationship and trust Him whatever he says. 

TO MARRIED PEEPS: You are in it for the long haul now. If you know that the person you married doesn't have a relationship with Christ, minister to them and pray for them. You can't change them but through prayer and fasting God can transform anyone's heart.