Shane & I decided not to move in together before we were married, we were trying to honor God and moving in together would have made that impossible...hahah. Anyways I couldn't wait to move in! I think I had most of my stuff packed a month before the wedding.
I distinctly remember a conversation with a couple named Kasey & Kai Husen and Kasey said "I knew almost everything about him when I moved in so nothing was shocking." This line always popped into my head during our dating time. I was determined to know Shane's dirty laundry and to share my dirty laundry with him as preparation for living together. This method definitely helped but you don't know everything about each other until you are going through it. Nothing was super shocking, he knew that I left dried toothpaste in the sink, that I would wash the dishes but sometimes leave food (cheerios) in the little drain filter, and that I always leave every light on in the entire condo. Hey I pointed out my flaws but I feel like I need permission to share his lol. Ok anyways, when Shane noticed I was doing this in the condo he simply said "Hey, it bothers me when you do this_____." And I would say "Ok cool, I'll make a change." and I would and that was that. I shared what bothered me with him and the response was the same. I could have made it into a big deal and react with fiery passion and say "SHANE HOW DARE YOU POINT THAT OUT: TODAY I DUSTED, VACUUMED, DID THE DISHES, CLEANED THE SHOWER, AND WASHED OUR DOGS" But that response is no fun. Why ruin an entire night over one thing.
My advice would be to wake up everyday and decide to lower your pride, think about what your spouse does for your family and be thankful. When there is something that bothers you voice it in a calm way, if you are on the receiving end react with humility. I always remind myself how Shane works his butt off and then I think "Making dinner or doing the dishes is the least I could do for him". It's not a competition who can do more, you are on the same team.