Kristen Ellingson

When to forgive and forget vs. when to forgive and run

Kristen Ellingson
When to forgive and forget vs. when to forgive and run

As a Christian I know that I am supposed to represent the things of Christ. That includes welcoming people into my life, caring for them, forgiving them, and many other traits that stem from love. The thing that I have struggled with the most is knowing how to identify unhealthy relationships and knowing when to separate myself from them. How can I be a Christian if I just give up on people and don't continually pursue peace?

I began a hunt this morning for Bible verses to answer this question I had. The first verse that I read was Roman 16:17 which says " I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught, avoid them." 

God provided us with a warning to evaluate the fruit of the relationship you are in. Is it a constant problem? Are you constantly dwelling on the issues in that relationship? The fruit of a healthy relationship will be love, patience, kindness, forgiveness, etc. 

The next verse I read was 2 Timothy 2:23 "Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels." After reading this I feel like it's important to say that in any relationship you will face controversies but it is important to look at the end goal of those controversies. Are you working through issues to help strengthen the relationship or is it over pointless things that only cause frustration and anger?

I found an amazing article on  called "5 Indicators of an Evil and Wicked Heart" that lists out way to spot someone with an evil heart. 

  1. Evil hearts are experts at creating confusion and contention
  2. Evils hearts are experts at fooling others with their smooth speech and flattering words.
  3. Evil hearts crave and demand control, and their highest authority is their own self-reference.
  4. Evil hearts play on the sympathies of good-willed people, often trumping the grace card.
  5. Evil hearts have no conscience, no remorse.

The next indicators that were provided were what someone with an evil heart wants you to believe...

  1. Their horrible actions should have no serious or painful consequences
  2. That if I talk like a gospel-loving Christian I am one, even if my actions don't line up with my talk.

A verse that is mentioned at the beginning of this article is Romans 3:23 which points out that we all fall short and we all will sin. The difference is that someone who loves Christ will feel remorse and someone who does not will find absolute pleasure when indulging in evil desires.

The purpose of this journal entry is to warn you to be careful with what you are caught up in. The last thing God wants you to do is be distracted by pointless evil things when you could be focused on the people who need and want a healthy/God honoring relationship with you.

Above all love God & love others. Pray for them and pray for your heart.